i hate when i need to write, but am so drained of emotion that i really have nothing left to share.

right now though, i need to share.

today is sunday. i have invited over sixteen people to my house for my birthday party, and i expect ten to show up.

or i did.

at this moment, i might cancel it.



something really fucked up about me is im a quitter. a perfect quitter. no matter if something is good or bad for me, bet your bottom dollar ill quit it before i finish it.

my gf might be something like that.

honestly, we have a perfect relationship.

i shouldnt bitch.

but..

she just realized shes sexy. i think people used to hit on her because she seemed like an easy fuck. now people hit on her because shes confident and sexy and she knows it.
problem is, she likes the attention she gets, a lot.

and its understandable because shes never had it.

so im torn right now.

i need to feel loved.
i need to feel like im number one.

i need to get what i give.

and i need to let her be her.

its a tough call.

should i let her go and let her live her life on another path
or should i let her join me on mine.


maybe, what ill do, is off myself.

whats fucked is im not kidding.

maybe ill off myself by the end of the year.

2 years ago i made a vow to drink myself to death, this time i think im going to try hard drugs on a frequent basis.

ill have fun, and slowly ill die.

whats fucked is im sincere.

ill love me even when im dead.

- b

so its been officially sixteen days or some shit since i even logged into this motherfucker. my life has changed so much that i refuse to even begin detailing it right now.

my girlfriend told me to write about her

so i am

today i told her i doubt well work out

and i think i might be right

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so sad, so sad, so typical, i trust my toes more than ill trust anyone else.

 

 

as much as i dont want it to be

i might be rolling solo again soon!

 

le sigh!!

 

:(

 

- b
 

Tags: dating
Current Mood: depressed

so i could write about how i got fired yesterday for no good reason, but instead i have important business to discuss : xbox360.

ive spent a lot of time with this bitch since i got it, and ive decided upon a few key factors when comparing the ps3 to this system -

a) the controller on the ps3 is almost better. i say almost because theres no rumble in most models of the controller that comes bundled, and you have to pay an additional 50 bucks to pick up a controller that does have rumble. the xbox controller has this standard. nice. however, the xbox is a bit bulkier (although they have slimmed it down from the xbox1 controller), and the ps3 one just feels a lot more comfortable. its a great design ps3 has, im glad it hasnt changed much through the ages.

b) the xbox doesnt have the power the ps3 does however the graphics (at this time) are pretty fuckin close to the ps3. the ps3 is a little smoother, the textures look a little better, but overall there is no dramatic difference.

c) the ps3 has bluray. 360 doesnt. nuff said.

d) the library of games on the xbox360 is absolutely amazing. it has to be like three times the size of the ps3's. plus, theres a fuckin SHITLOAD of exclusive titles for the 360 whereas theres like one or two for the ps3. this is great because now that i have a 360, im really enjoying a lot of games i never had the chance to play with the ps3.

e) xbox live is pure pure pure pure pwnage. its the best online setup for a gaming console ever, until ps3 HOME comes out i really believe microsoft is dominating the online market.

f) i wont buy a harddrive for this system unless i find some situation in which i have to. i can understand why youd get one, if you didnt already have a ps3 with a 40 gig hooked up. but really, im just using the 360 for gaming, a memory card works fine, and i see no reason to upgrade.

so overall, if you had to pick this or that id say for right NOW the 360 is the best choice. 199 for the basic bundle (wireless controller, system, memory card, some piece of shit game with uno and pacman) is a really really good deal. thats like sixty more than a ds. ridiculous. the ps3 is a pricey motherfucker. its great by all means, and the truth is in the long run, in 1 - 3 years, the ps3 will be on top. its a fucking powerouse, and it just hasnt had the lifespan of the 360 thus far. investment wise, roll ps3 - immediate wise roll 360. best option, waste your check(S), get both.

right now my top games for 360 are :

NINETY NINE NIGHTS - a great dynasty warriors knockoff
VIVA PINATA - animal crossing meets pokemon meets partytime. fun for all ages.
HALO3 - strictly for the online.
SHADOWRUN - same as above.
PHANTASY STAR UNIVERSE - same as above.
and finally, PURE. pure is badass on 360 and ps3, however theres a fuckin lot more people playing online on 360 so i like it better on that console.

i still have COMMAND AND CONQUER 3, GUN, PREY, BIOSHOCK, and VIVA PINATA 2 to get into, but for now those games mentioned above are key for a great gaming experience.

i love my 360.

Tags: badass fucking games, living in a motherfuckin console, xbox 360
Current Mood: excited

im so tired and disoriented right now that its actually hard to write.

i cant feel my fingers, i hear the sounds of the keys as i hit them, and im paying more attention to the gum im chewing than i am to what im actually writing.


ive had a ps3 for a while, today i got a 360. i was gonna write about all the games ive played today and shit but im way too out of it. i need sleep, and i need it now.

all ill say is im in love with this system. for a long time i was a nerd-hater of it because i own a ps3, but fuckin shitgodamn ive been missing out.

dead rising - kickass.
mass effect - kickass.
halo 3 - uber kickass.
dead or alive 4 - kickass.
crackdown - mega kickass.

all of these games rule, and i own three of them (the other two are rented. guess which ones i own for a five dollar prize.)

so yeah, my nerdiness has elevated.
ive evolved.

thanks 360!!

- b

Tags: i need to go to fucking bed, xbox 360
Current Mood: sleepy

so last night this guy i work with, and a friend of his came over. theyre silly, theyre 19 (i think) and half the shit they talk about relates to sex. its ridiculous. my coworkers friend had just gotten dumped by his gf, because she fucked two different guys on his watch. he wasnt pissed as much as he was sad. he wanted her back. i thought this was very silly. if i was him id be happy she dumped me. fuckin nasty bitch, whyd you wanna be with someone like that anyway? guys are dumb...er rather, boys are dumb.

yesterday i spent about a million dollars on itunes, downloading tv shows. below are the shows with reviews for each.

MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS - nothing tops the original. this is one of the best shows ive ever seen, even to this day. a simple breakdown of every episode goes like this : teens in juice bar, monster appears, teens turn into power rangers, prior to fighting monster they fight "putties", then they turn into giant robots, kick monsters ass, go back to juice bar and act a fool. fuckin golden. i love how cheesy the dialogue is, but most of all i love the racism. racism? huh, wuh? ok lookit this - the black ranger is a fucking black guy. the yellow ranger is chinese! need i say more? i love the robots very much. im a big fan of GODZILLA, and the zords are pretty much a total ripoff. what i love the most about them is that the power rangers "care" about the city, but the fuckin zords always tear it apart. best! the episodes i downloaded are worth mentioning too : the GREEN RANGER saga. fucking best!! i love the green ranger, i love how he fucks everything up. he is the ultimate nemesis. literally, as i write this, im watching episode four of five of the green ranger saga, and it is overwhelmingly entertaining. i cannot recommend any higher that you go back in time and watch this series. fucking BEST.

SPIDER-MAN - theres been a shitload of spiderman cartoons, this is one of the better ones : its "cgi", alls of it. it looks really good. the whole universe is kinda in its own territory, if i had to pick one its closest to id say the ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN universe is a pretty close pick. i think this show was on mtv and got cancelled, but i dont see why. its more of a teen-oriented show versus a kids, me likes it a lot.

POWER RANGERS : MYSTIC FORCE - after downloading the original power rangers, i decided to give two other series a day in court, this is one of them. ive only watched half an episode (i only downloaded two) and so far its decent. it isnt as good as the original but fuckit, what is? i like that theres a lot of ancient-style background to it, and in the opening segment of the first episode theres a really badass "epic" battle explaining the rangers origins. ill finish the ep, and watch the second, and overall im *fairly impressed with it. for a modern version of rangers, its pretty fuckin good.

POWER RANGERS :S.P.D. - ill admit, i fucked up a little with this one. i downloaded like eight eps, i should have downloaded two. the story in this one is beyond horrible. i know i shouldnt expect much from acting ina power rangers series but this acting is inexcusable. its terrible. its like a bad porno. the only positive thing about this show is the "zords", which are actually vehicles. theyre pretty much badass as fuck to be honest. theres like a bike and a car and shit, and although id prefer dinosaurs like the original, these are kickass. the megazord is MEGA badass in this series, fucker has a badass pistol and an even more badass sword, and he does insane stunts with both. whats even better is if you thought the megazord in the original didnt give a fuck about the city, wait till you check out the one in this. fucker makes garbage out of the city in this, its hilarious. id check this out for the zords but if you expect anything more than that youll be in for a surprise. a bullshit surprise.

DEATH NOTE - i knew this anime would be kickass. i bought four episodes on dvd just because it came witha really badass figure, and im downloading all but 15 (which i bought yesterday, and by downloading i mean pirating like a dumbass). the 15 i bought are golden. i wrote an entire entry about why i love death note so im not going to go into major detail, but this series does not disappoint. the plot to death note is classic, i love it very much, this anime does the movies justice (although the movies came *after* the anime, i saw the movies first so yeah) and thats about it. buy or download or do whatever it takes to get some form of this story now. the end.


- and thats about that. i have a lot of tv to watch. oh, and i bought (on dvd) the terminator sarah connor chronicles, which is really good. the acting is mediocre but the plot is golden. i love the terminator movies, so of course i love the terminator tv show.

today im staying up all night, and trying to down as much of this shit as possible.

good times!!

Tags: owning the universe one show at a time, pirating, power rangers
Current Mood: happy

so, although i mentioned DEATHNOTE briefly in my previous entry, id like to detail why this movie is so fucking good and why you should go to your local comic store and absolutely demand it on dvd immediately.

im a big fan of characters. im a writer myself. characters are what really drive a story. the two main characters in this movie are two of the greatest characters i have ever seen on film. the main character goes from a calm student to a serial killer, and his rival, 'L', is a fucking genius. L is very tactical and smart. both of the characters go through a lot of changes, they evolve. its amazing. you can feel their change, and as the movie progresses, their rivalry. they are one in the same, on opposite ends of a spectrum.

another key element that works very well is suspense. the main character is being chased. the public worships him, but hes a serial killer. a task force, led by L, is sent to find him. as they get closer and closer you feel almost SCARED for Light, the main guy. its amazing.

all of the movie is amazing. the special effects are above standard for an asian film, everything about the flick is above any standard, including my own.

this is a movie that not only you should see, but you deserve to see. its amazing as fuck and is already one of my top five favorite films of all time.

whats great is the fucker runs about two andahalf hours, and the sequel is the same. the two movies are like KILL BILL in that really theyre volumes. its one big story broken into two. so buy both if you can find them. or do like i did and download them. do whatever it takes to get these movies. the possibilities to experience this exist, and are in your hands.

i advise you take advantage of your own capabilities, and do whatever it takes to enjoy this series.

like i said

fucking amazing.

100/10, easily.

Tags: badass shit, death note
Current Mood: ecstatic

DEATHNOTE is one of the greatest movies I have ever seen. To be honest, 2 was even better and i've still yet to watch the prequel to both, L : change the world.

i highly advise you download these movies.

- b

Current Mood: awake

today has been so fucking crazy. i havent slept in around 40 hours, im thinking about pushing 80. i think i can. i have reason to by all means, it isnt like im just trying to stay awake. i literally have something i find important to do which i cannot discuss, even here. if you message me maybe ill tell you what it is.
today i bought so much shit, im not even listing it all. i have two things i want to "talk" about, one someone might find offensive, the other everyone should find interesting. ill start with the negativity.

my ex-ex loves telling me i owe her money. its ridiculous. i borrowed like 10 cds from her when we were dating, i fucked them all up, and shes one of those girls (ive had two ina row) who wants to give everything back and get everything back that was given during dating upon breakup. stupid. so i fucked her cds up, and she wants like 200 bucks in compensation. i think its dumb. burn the fuckin cds. download them and burn them. the end. but no. so ive paid her 100 of what she wants, tomorrow im paying her 40, and im calling it quits. shes dumb for thinking im paying her more, and if youre reading this right now amy im just being honest.
today i was on the phone with her, about money, and i told her i forgot to pay her. which i did. i focus on myself a lot. i have a 1 tattooed on my hand. im that self centered, im number one. so i forgot. whoops. the conversation ended when she said im immature as fuck or some shit for my age, i hung up. why? because shes telling me this when she does drugs and drinks in her spare time. theres nothing wrong with that, its just that at our age cmon man. maybe a toke here and there but get real. were too old for that shit. so shut up with calling me a baby, youre a fuckin crackalack. me no care. i told her the 40 is the end of it and after that im never talking to her again. fuck the bitch.

so the positive : metallicas new cd is blowing my mind. i cant believe how good it is. metallica is one of those love-hate relationships for me. i love their earlier shit. its hardcore fucking metal, it fucking rules i dont give a fuck what you have to say about it. AND JUSTICE FOR ALL is some badass metal. MASTER OF PUPPETS is some badass metal. the black album kinda began their slide into fuckin gayness to me. LOAD, and RELOAD, were alternative cds. not metal. they sold the fuck out. thank fucking christ theyve returned to their roots, the new cd sounds like good OLD metallica. i fucking love it. i bought like three of their older cds just because the new one really reminded me how good they COULD be. its fucking brilliant work. it isnt their best cd, but its pretty fucking close - especially because it brought them some fuckin credibility again as a real metal band. buy it now its the shit.
another cd thats the absolute fucking bomb is the new GYM CLASS HEROES cd. its nothing like their previous one. the previous was kickass, but it was all hits. all of it. songs for the radio. the new cd is really experimental, and the lead rapper singer guy sounds like talib on it to me. or mos def. someone with real rap credentials. some decent shit. its fucking great go buy it too.

id say download it, but i got fucking busted for illegally (typo there me thinks..maybe) downloading shit. ridiculous. i got a letter from the cable company saying they got some letter from some other company who busted me downloading IRON MAN. i dont even fuckin remember when i downloaded that bullshit. forever ago. but fuckit now im in the eye of the storm me thinks so me keeps from downloading for now on. i love shopping on itunes anyway.

oh and i got one of my favorite movies today, RETURN OF THE STREET FIGHTER. not street fighter the game type shit but my man SONNY FUCKING CHIBA type shit. hes by far my favorite martial arts actor, and i got the fucker for 3.99 plus my employee discount. fucking best.

todays been great. i might powernap and just continue it. well see. i hope youve enjoyed the best entry ive written so far, even though at this exact moment i havent even reread it. and know what? i bet theres grammar errors and typos and im not even gonna ficks them. see theres a typo right there, although that one was intentional.

deal.

- b

Tags: badass shit, dumb broad, movies, music
Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: new metallica, ftw nugga!!!1!

man today i got three of the WARHAWK expansions, and im seriously shitting myself at how good they are.

the pinacle of my day has been using a JETPACK to fly around, land, stab a motherfucker to death, and waving bye to their corpse as i jump off to do it again.

i needed refreshment in the game, now i have it.

expansions = BEST!!

Current Location: WARHAWK.
Current Mood: excited

so ive done a partial amount of what i planned on today. first off, my job fucked the fuck up and put force unleashed available for rent right now, rather than on the 15th (or 16th i forget) when its posed to come out - BEST. im playing through the first level now, and i must say this is the best star wars game ever made, hands down. you get to use the force in any way possible - from throwing enemies off cliffs to strangling them to doing whatever. plus you begin as vader. besttttt! ive been looking forward to this game, and im very happy to have it about a week in advance.

i watched half of VISITOR Q before i fell asleep, it was exceptional. it wasnt as gross as i imagined, but its still very weird and very disturbing. lots of weird sex scenes and over the top violence, ftw!

i DID watch hair extensions, it was kickass as fuck. it was violent, had a great plot, great special effects, great everything. it was the sick and twisted japanese horror film i expected it to be, in every way.

tonight im playing force, and ill probably knock out a sin city book as well.

oh and i bought three games today - a bruce lee game for xbox, spiderman 3 special edition (where you get to play as new goblin!) for ps3, and virtua fighter deuce for saturn. solid solid solid!

todays been a kickass day for media, im very happy with how everythings gone!

force unleashed ftw!!!!

Tags: force unleashed
Current Mood: ecstatic